It’s easy to encounter a child who is angry, disruptive, withdrawn, hungry, exhausted, or struggling to connect and focus on the behavior in front of us. But what happens when we ask a different question: What might this behavior be telling us about the child?

In this special Cross-Talk episode of Tiny Talks on Early Learning and UNrattled: A Podcast for Parents, Jessica and Venay are joined by Joshua Jones, Director of the HALO Program at USA Health, for a deeply personal conversation about childhood, connection, and the adults who can help change the trajectory of a young person’s life.

Jessica, Venay, and Josh look back at the “little” versions of themselves—the experiences that shaped them, the behaviors adults saw, and the needs that sometimes went unnoticed. Their stories offer an important reminder for early childhood professionals: the child in front of us is always more than the behavior we see.

Long before adolescence, children are developing their understanding of themselves, relationships, belonging, and whether adults can be trusted to notice and show up for them.

Early educators may be among the first adults outside a child’s family to recognize that something is changing or that a child needs additional connection and support. That doesn’t mean educators are responsible for fixing everything. It means that noticing matters. Curiosity matters. Relationships matter. And consistency matters.

Because before every headline, there was a child—and very often, there was an early educator with an opportunity to help that child feel seen.

What You’ll Take Away

• Behavior tells us something, even when it doesn’t tell us everything. Anger, withdrawal, acting out, hunger, exhaustion, or difficulty engaging may be signals worth approaching with curiosity rather than immediate judgment.

• Relationships are part of prevention. Consistent connections with caring adults can provide children with another source of belonging, encouragement, guidance, and support.

• Early educators have a unique opportunity to notice. Because you see children regularly and across routines, relationships, play, and transitions, you may recognize changes or needs that aren't immediately visible to others.

• Consistency matters more than grand gestures. Children learn whether adults are trustworthy through repeated experiences of adults showing up, paying attention, and following through.

• Supporting children also means seeing families in context. Families may be navigating transportation problems, food insecurity, financial stress, health concerns, or other challenges that aren't obvious at the classroom door. Partnership begins with curiosity rather than assumptions.

• You don’t have to fix everything to make a difference. Sometimes your role begins simply by noticing the child in front of you, asking another question, building a relationship, and helping connect a child or family with additional support when needed.

A Challenge for Early Educators

Think about the child in your classroom who is easiest to describe by a behavior: the hitter, the runner, the crier, the defiant one, the child who never participates, the child who is always hungry.

For a moment, take away the label.

What else do you know about that child? What brings them joy? When do they feel successful? Who are they connected to? What might you not know yet?

Before we decide what a child’s behavior means, we can become curious about the child behind it.

Notice them. Get curious. Build connection. And keep showing up.